seol_plumfall: (seol)
To whom it may concern:

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON THE CONFESSOR

AND I DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON THE HIGHLORD.

what the fel "paladin-sexual"

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seol_plumfall: (seol)
Astrolabe,

Last night was very strange. Our mother and I were both tired so we did not cook but went to eat at the World's End. But our mother did not sit with me and drank at the bar. I was confused. Did she want me to drink with her, or was she thinking alone? I was confused so I did not join her.

Then Jelleneth came in and she was very drunk. After I Cleansed her she explained her problem, that there are two men who want to be her husband and she does not know which one to marry. And I was a little angry to hear about it, Astrolabe.

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seol_plumfall: (astro)
Seol,

I was selfish to you.

I was happy to be a child for you to protect. I was happy to be inside the walls of Shattrath and not to need the hands and hooves of I to be fast to get food for we. I thought, now, I rest and be a child again, and the walls and the bodies of Vindicators of the Aldor protect I. I thought I had time to grow and to help the Light later. And I sat inside the walls, and the bodies of they and of the Shattered Sun and of Seol protected I.

But I am not so very small. I killed three elves on Bloodmyst. I crushed in the faces with a mace. I cried and I cried and I was so sad of the beautiful faces dead and I said I try and I try not to kill any more ones. And two months went. And two months I was happy in Shattrath, I was the wife of the husband of I, and two months he fought and he bled and blood was on he and I was so clean.

The sister of you is only a half of a century, and she walked to Shattrath to understand the love of you. And I heard she said to the angry you, she will not wait. She does not have the strength of adults but she has a strength to go so she goes right now.

Two months you bled and there was blood and dirty things on the ground of Draenor, and I bandaged people of the Shattered Sun and made armors and cared to you, but I sat inside the walls and other people fought and bled and made blood and died.

It is not wrong if I do this.

But I can not want to do it any more.




Jiajia 4 ← Astrolabe 28 → Helaah 2
seol_plumfall: (seol)
Astrolabe,

Today I met an engineer committing sacrilege in M'uru's room.

I did not throw him out or show my anger even though I probably outrank the one who let him down here. And I know it would be wrong of me to say that he is definitely immoral when I am happy to commit heresies and blasphemies.

But it is disrespectful. It is not kind to be careless and to track dirt on the bloodstains left by a mother who died giving birth. Even if the dead do not care about their dignity any more, their children do. It is unkind to their feelings.

But I held onto my tongue.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)
I did not die. I was saved by the very kind Lady Elayia, for whom I must write harder, and the not-a-paladin Kriegus, and by Ruepert who took considerable risks for my sake, and by Tiddia.

Tiddia came to look for me. She did not go to the necromancers. She came back to the Cathedral to look for me because I was late. I am so happy that she did not go to the necromancers. I am so happy for her soul.

But I think that it is like I thought, and that Tiddia does not want anything to do with me anymore.

No matter how hard I try, what I do, as sincere as I try to be

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seol_plumfall: (empty)
I hated my parents.

They never punished me. They were never angry or pleased with what I did. Sometimes I could annoy them and get them to leave me alone for a while. But mostly they didn't care at all.

It's not like they didn't notice or didn't know what was going on. The nanny or governess would always report everything to them. And I would always get the exact books I needed and clothes that were just the right size. And when I asked for a whole set of imported dolls with real doll-sized Mageweave clothes, they gave it to me. Because they loved me no matter what.

No matter what.

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