seol_plumfall: (seol)
Astrolabe,

I know you try to make a joke with the mask and the "now you will love me because I am a blood elf" but it's not Various things happened today.

I was afraid to confess to Tiddia so I did not go home to the apartment in Silvermoon quickly. I went to M'uru's room instead because I wanted to feel that love so I would be a little braver. But I found Shuuken there. It was strange. She said she heard music that called her there. I wonder if Shuuken "hears" the spirits and the breath of the earth the way that I "feel" the Light.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)
Astrolabe,

Today Tiddia and I went to Quel'Danas to fight the Sunfuries as we planned.

Before we left I showed her M'uru's room. Shuuken found us by accident in Silvermoon and so I showed her, too. And Jelleneth came to the room while looking for Master Arimadios. I tried to explain my feelings but I do not think Tiddia and Jelleneth liked them very much. Maybe it is because my ideas are very full of pain or because it is a sort of feeling of a selfish child. But Tiddia said that she understood and did not hate me for it. Even if she thinks I am twisted if she understands that is enough.

Shuuken understood well, I think. I often think that Shuuken understands me well. I think that this means I am much like a mad shaman and am not sure if I should be happy or worried about this.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)
Astrolabe,

Today I met an engineer committing sacrilege in M'uru's room.

I did not throw him out or show my anger even though I probably outrank the one who let him down here. And I know it would be wrong of me to say that he is definitely immoral when I am happy to commit heresies and blasphemies.

But it is disrespectful. It is not kind to be careless and to track dirt on the bloodstains left by a mother who died giving birth. Even if the dead do not care about their dignity any more, their children do. It is unkind to their feelings.

But I held onto my tongue.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)
Maybe I overdid it. In any case, after the last letter, I think things will get better. I will not give up.

But I am still feeling a bit cranky so I came down here to rest a little bit before I go back to the apartment. Because although I want to make her understand I do not want to hurt her by coming home with a tearful face or to say something selfish and upsetting because I wasn't thinking calmly. And I cannot go home to Astrolabe for this purpose because if I tell her about this incident I think she will just get angrier with Tiddia and probably get angry at me too.

And while I was lying down here and thinking about the letters I think I figured something out that I need to write down before I forget.

The reason that I cried so much when I met A'dal and the other naaru in Shattrath for the first time.

It was not because being near to the naaru makes me feel the pangs of the Light in my chest, the sorrow and suffering of the Light - that is the reason I still cry and the reason I feel so much pain near them.

But the reason that I cried so much the first time, which I did not understand very well at the moment, was, I think...

that the naaru saw my pain and looked at me and said, "we feel it, too."



and then Astrolabe came to me and felt it, too...




Seol 47 ← Seol 48 → Seol 49
seol_plumfall: (seol)
Astrolabe,

The Horde has many very strange people.

But I asked a shaman about how to make sick spirits into well spirits. She said shaman can do it, but it is not common. A helpful ancestor usually dies and becomes an ancestor right away. And when someone makes a sick spirit peaceful, it usually disappears. So there is no common medicine she knows to make sick into well. I think this means it will be even more hard to find a very rare medicine to make sick naaru well.

We will search when you are with me again. I imagine you now are a stronger and wiser paladin than I. For you it will not be so hard.

I forgot what else I was writing tonight.

My shaman friend, Shuuken, named me "Seol, the Doubter." She means that it is good but I am very afraid of what will happen when we publish




Seol 19 ← Seol 20 → Seol 21
seol_plumfall: (seol)
The Common word good has many ambiguities. For instance, when one says the Light is good, he usually means that the Light has absolute, positive ethic value. However, if one says chocolate is good, he usually means that it brings comfort and pleasure.

We who follow the faith of the Light are indoctr taught that the Light is absolute ethic good. This belief dictates that those who utilize the Light must be good and that those who are destroyed by it must be evil. This seems a sufficient theory for humans those who live in cities under the Light, protected by paladins who shield them from the undead and lose their powers if they stray from goodness.

But at times, this theory seems to be inconsistent fall short of a wholly satisfying explanation regarding some phenomena of the larger world.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)
Astrolabe,

I am reassigned from defense against Skettis to the pacification of the Auchenai. Now after Levixus and Maladaar are dead, they do not trouble the Sha'tar so much, but there are still necromancers inside the Crypts. The priests reanimate the dead ones, and they are determined. I think the fight will be long.

I think the death priest Ramdor began to say to me that the Auchenai go towards darkness because the naaru below is sick. I met this naaru whose name is D'ore, but I cried very much, so I do not remember very well. It is very sick and eating many souls, and it suffers very much. But it hopes to be well again soon, and I also feel hope with pain.

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