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(( Chibichibichibi ))
Dec. 11th, 2009 03:14 pmOh yeah! Something I drawed:
Good luck getting Astro to go back Holy after she got a taste of Ret!
Good luck getting Astro to go back Holy after she got a taste of Ret!
→Seol 66: Dark night
Dec. 9th, 2009 02:55 pmTiddia wrote to me but I haven't been able to write back because I'm really, really, sick. Sick like after that Adept died, almost as sick as back when we came to Silvermoon. I can write in this journal just fine, but if I think about going outside, even if I look at a letter-size piece of parchment I feel sick and frightened and I can't get out of my bed.
I have to go back to Silvermoon to report to the Masters eventually but whenever I think about it I feel like I'm going to die.
I'm ashamed of myself.
( Read more... )
I have to go back to Silvermoon to report to the Masters eventually but whenever I think about it I feel like I'm going to die.
I'm ashamed of myself.
( Read more... )
→Storybook 1: Credo
Nov. 20th, 2009 11:04 pm
This world into which we have been born is filled with sadness and suffering.
( With such tender hearts and feeble minds... )
→Seol 64: Day off
Nov. 17th, 2009 06:24 pmAstrolabe,
I feel so nice.
I think that I need to rest more often. Often I "rest" from the battlefield or from my duties in Silvermoon, but I travel here and there, and I write or read about difficult things, or I practice arms, or I run errands for the house. I do not just stay in the house and rest and soothe and repair my body all day. But today we did nothing but eat and talk and take a bath and I feel so nice.
Maybe I cannot know with certainty if it is pleasure or it is only relief from the pain of my body. But I will not fret about it any more.
Our mother and father are in Zangarmarsh so we are being naked and lazy in our house. And now I am going to cook something and then we are going to go to sleep.
I feel so nice.
I think that I need to rest more often. Often I "rest" from the battlefield or from my duties in Silvermoon, but I travel here and there, and I write or read about difficult things, or I practice arms, or I run errands for the house. I do not just stay in the house and rest and soothe and repair my body all day. But today we did nothing but eat and talk and take a bath and I feel so nice.
Maybe I cannot know with certainty if it is pleasure or it is only relief from the pain of my body. But I will not fret about it any more.
Our mother and father are in Zangarmarsh so we are being naked and lazy in our house. And now I am going to cook something and then we are going to go to sleep.
Seol 63 ← Seol 64 → Astrolabe 30
Every day I am happy that Astrolabe is near to me to help me and to teach me patiently.
Some days ago Astrolabe returned from Darnassus. She met various people in that city, but she did not manage to find a master warrior to train her. She did not want to go to Stormwind or the Exodar, and though I said she could go to Ironforge, she said that she was tired and tired of the distance from me, so she came home.
Our father told me that perhaps she should not wander everywhere looking for a teacher who knows of the Light but will not mistake her for a paladin when her husband is here in Shattrath and serves the Shattered Sun with the Light and a sword. He discussed it with our mother and with Astrolabe and they both agreed, they want me to be her teacher before any other man or woman.
( Read more... )
Some days ago Astrolabe returned from Darnassus. She met various people in that city, but she did not manage to find a master warrior to train her. She did not want to go to Stormwind or the Exodar, and though I said she could go to Ironforge, she said that she was tired and tired of the distance from me, so she came home.
Our father told me that perhaps she should not wander everywhere looking for a teacher who knows of the Light but will not mistake her for a paladin when her husband is here in Shattrath and serves the Shattered Sun with the Light and a sword. He discussed it with our mother and with Astrolabe and they both agreed, they want me to be her teacher before any other man or woman.
( Read more... )
My husband has made himself doubly confused.
Seol writes beautifully with the pen of doubt and belief, but twice he has doubled back and scrawled confusion over his words. The freshest ink reads, "I believe that I truly believe in my pleasure," but that is not the prayer his heart needs to raise up and gaze upon in order to heal his soul. For as he writes those words he frets about and doubts about the veracity of his beliefs, the possibility of a self-delusion, he may learn about what his mind considers necessary in order to deem some proposition true or false, but he will not learn to feel pleasure.
( Read more... )
Seol writes beautifully with the pen of doubt and belief, but twice he has doubled back and scrawled confusion over his words. The freshest ink reads, "I believe that I truly believe in my pleasure," but that is not the prayer his heart needs to raise up and gaze upon in order to heal his soul. For as he writes those words he frets about and doubts about the veracity of his beliefs, the possibility of a self-delusion, he may learn about what his mind considers necessary in order to deem some proposition true or false, but he will not learn to feel pleasure.
( Read more... )
→Seol 62: Pray
Nov. 15th, 2009 10:22 pmDear Light,
Help me
I want to feel pleasure.
I want to feel pleasure and to desire pleasure like a normal person.
I dont want to have to pretend that when I feel grief and when I feel pity that I am feeling pleasure.
I dont want to have to figure out what pleasure is by feeling for the gaps in pain. I dont want to run away from pain and pretend that it is the same thing as running towards pleasure.
I want to feel pleasure and desire
I dont want to be afraid that my pleasure is not really pleasure and that I will never be able to tell the difference between pleasure and relief.
I want to be able to have a desire for Astrolabe that does not have inside it a fear that my desire is not real. I want to be able to have a desire that is desire, like a normal person
Please
give me faith.
I need to believe in pleasure.
believe in chocolate
Help me
I want to feel pleasure.
I want to feel pleasure and to desire pleasure like a normal person.
I dont want to have to pretend that when I feel grief and when I feel pity that I am feeling pleasure.
I dont want to have to figure out what pleasure is by feeling for the gaps in pain. I dont want to run away from pain and pretend that it is the same thing as running towards pleasure.
I want to feel pleasure and desire
I dont want to be afraid that my pleasure is not really pleasure and that I will never be able to tell the difference between pleasure and relief.
I want to be able to have a desire for Astrolabe that does not have inside it a fear that my desire is not real. I want to be able to have a desire that is desire, like a normal person
Please
give me faith.
I need to believe in pleasure.
believe in chocolate
Seol 61 ← Seol 62 → Astrolabe 29
→Seol 61: Love of the unattainable
Nov. 14th, 2009 04:22 pmTo whom it may concern:
I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON THE CONFESSOR
AND I DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON THE HIGHLORD.
what the fel "paladin-sexual"
( Read more... )
I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON THE CONFESSOR
AND I DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON THE HIGHLORD.
what the fel "paladin-sexual"
( Read more... )
This is a story about a king who had one daughter. This young princess was famous throughout the small kingdom for her gentleness and wisdom, and the farmers and merchants would request her help with their disputes whenever she toured the towns and countryside. The people loved and trusted her judgment, and the king, too, loved her very much.
The eighth decenniversary of the princess's birth approached, and her father wished to host a banquet in her honor. But he found himself in a quandary. He wished to import the finest, rarest luxuries for her – the blushing peaches frosted with moonlight from the northernmost forests of Kalimdor or the fragrant violet berries plucked from the mountains of southern Terokkar. But his was but a small kingdom, and with his limited wealth, he could only furnish the banquet one of these two delicacies. Only the sweetest fruit in the world would do for his peerless daughter, and he did not know whether to trust the bards of Darnassus or those of Shattrath, who both sang paeans to the bounty of their respective homelands.
( And so one day... )
(( SSO RP outfit complete! ))
Nov. 9th, 2009 12:58 pmOML. Many, many Shadow Labyrinth deaths and over 300 Marks of Sargeras later, and finally...
( My SSO RP outfit is done! )
( My SSO RP outfit is done! )
OK, so I may be cheating a little bit by posting stuff from Nov 1 morning in here, but I also want to post:
Happy Hallow's End!
Also.( Read more... )
Happy Hallow's End!
Also.( Read more... )
Astrolabe,
Tiddia wrote me from Icecrown. And I was very confused because I thought she would watch the Silvermoon house until someone came back. So I went there very quickly and met the man that Tiddia hired to watch the house and feed the cats, whose name is Thadric.
He is very strange. And undead. And he was not wearing any clothes almost, but the door was locked and he did not expect anyone, and all people like to do their various strange things in their privacy, so I do not think that was itself a very bad thing, but
I did not want to see that.
( Read more... )
Tiddia wrote me from Icecrown. And I was very confused because I thought she would watch the Silvermoon house until someone came back. So I went there very quickly and met the man that Tiddia hired to watch the house and feed the cats, whose name is Thadric.
He is very strange. And undead. And he was not wearing any clothes almost, but the door was locked and he did not expect anyone, and all people like to do their various strange things in their privacy, so I do not think that was itself a very bad thing, but
I did not want to see that.
( Read more... )
→Seol 58: Selfish love
Oct. 29th, 2009 12:45 pmAstrolabe,
Last night was very strange. Our mother and I were both tired so we did not cook but went to eat at the World's End. But our mother did not sit with me and drank at the bar. I was confused. Did she want me to drink with her, or was she thinking alone? I was confused so I did not join her.
Then Jelleneth came in and she was very drunk. After I Cleansed her she explained her problem, that there are two men who want to be her husband and she does not know which one to marry. And I was a little angry to hear about it, Astrolabe.
( Read more... )
Last night was very strange. Our mother and I were both tired so we did not cook but went to eat at the World's End. But our mother did not sit with me and drank at the bar. I was confused. Did she want me to drink with her, or was she thinking alone? I was confused so I did not join her.
Then Jelleneth came in and she was very drunk. After I Cleansed her she explained her problem, that there are two men who want to be her husband and she does not know which one to marry. And I was a little angry to hear about it, Astrolabe.
( Read more... )
→Seol 57: Surrendering
Oct. 28th, 2009 10:35 amAstrolabe,
You know that I do not like when you leave suddenly. But I know you will be extra sweet to me when you return to make me feel better.
I could not convince Jia to return to Silvermoon. She said that to make her go I would have to bend her body under my strength or I would have to arrest her as a Master. And she knows I will not do these things, so she won. She, Pietro, and Cosimo ^and Galenos are staying on the Scryers Tier. Pietro is going to go back to Silvermoon to watch the house for a little while, until I can hire someone else because Tiddia needs to go work soon.
I cannot even go see my sister because the Scryers know my face.
Why are you not here to rub the tear off of it and make me feel better?
You know that I do not like when you leave suddenly. But I know you will be extra sweet to me when you return to make me feel better.
I could not convince Jia to return to Silvermoon. She said that to make her go I would have to bend her body under my strength or I would have to arrest her as a Master. And she knows I will not do these things, so she won. She, Pietro, and Cosimo ^and Galenos are staying on the Scryers Tier. Pietro is going to go back to Silvermoon to watch the house for a little while, until I can hire someone else because Tiddia needs to go work soon.
I cannot even go see my sister because the Scryers know my face.
Why are you not here to rub the tear off of it and make me feel better?
→Helaah 2: Beginning of reconciliation
Oct. 27th, 2009 11:03 pmI have been thinking for a long time, and now I am quite sure: I was too harsh with the boy.
Astrolabe is off to Azeroth to look for someone to train her in arms. She promised me that she would not stray out of the capital cities of the Alliance so I am at least not worried about her trying to make friends with strange blood elves. But she refused to go to the Exodar, and I am a little nervous about her mingling with the foreign nations. I think that with his money I may be able to afford at least a short break from work to accompany her.
I need a cloak. A really big cloak. Although, I wonder if they will really treat me better as a hideous old hunchback than a Broken?
( Read more... )
Astrolabe is off to Azeroth to look for someone to train her in arms. She promised me that she would not stray out of the capital cities of the Alliance so I am at least not worried about her trying to make friends with strange blood elves. But she refused to go to the Exodar, and I am a little nervous about her mingling with the foreign nations. I think that with his money I may be able to afford at least a short break from work to accompany her.
I need a cloak. A really big cloak. Although, I wonder if they will really treat me better as a hideous old hunchback than a Broken?
( Read more... )
→Astrolabe 28: Her conviction
Oct. 26th, 2009 04:02 pmSeol,
I was selfish to you.
I was happy to be a child for you to protect. I was happy to be inside the walls of Shattrath and not to need the hands and hooves of I to be fast to get food for we. I thought, now, I rest and be a child again, and the walls and the bodies of Vindicators of the Aldor protect I. I thought I had time to grow and to help the Light later. And I sat inside the walls, and the bodies of they and of the Shattered Sun and of Seol protected I.
But I am not so very small. I killed three elves on Bloodmyst. I crushed in the faces with a mace. I cried and I cried and I was so sad of the beautiful faces dead and I said I try and I try not to kill any more ones. And two months went. And two months I was happy in Shattrath, I was the wife of the husband of I, and two months he fought and he bled and blood was on he and I was so clean.
The sister of you is only a half of a century, and she walked to Shattrath to understand the love of you. And I heard she said to the angry you, she will not wait. She does not have the strength of adults but she has a strength to go so she goes right now.
Two months you bled and there was blood and dirty things on the ground of Draenor, and I bandaged people of the Shattered Sun and made armors and cared to you, but I sat inside the walls and other people fought and bled and made blood and died.
It is not wrong if I do this.
But I can not want to do it any more.
I was selfish to you.
I was happy to be a child for you to protect. I was happy to be inside the walls of Shattrath and not to need the hands and hooves of I to be fast to get food for we. I thought, now, I rest and be a child again, and the walls and the bodies of Vindicators of the Aldor protect I. I thought I had time to grow and to help the Light later. And I sat inside the walls, and the bodies of they and of the Shattered Sun and of Seol protected I.
But I am not so very small. I killed three elves on Bloodmyst. I crushed in the faces with a mace. I cried and I cried and I was so sad of the beautiful faces dead and I said I try and I try not to kill any more ones. And two months went. And two months I was happy in Shattrath, I was the wife of the husband of I, and two months he fought and he bled and blood was on he and I was so clean.
The sister of you is only a half of a century, and she walked to Shattrath to understand the love of you. And I heard she said to the angry you, she will not wait. She does not have the strength of adults but she has a strength to go so she goes right now.
Two months you bled and there was blood and dirty things on the ground of Draenor, and I bandaged people of the Shattered Sun and made armors and cared to you, but I sat inside the walls and other people fought and bled and made blood and died.
It is not wrong if I do this.
But I can not want to do it any more.