seol_plumfall | Entries tagged with pleasure

Astrolabe,

I feel so nice.

I think that I need to rest more often. Often I "rest" from the battlefield or from my duties in Silvermoon, but I travel here and there, and I write or read about difficult things, or I practice arms, or I run errands for the house. I do not just stay in the house and rest and soothe and repair my body all day. But today we did nothing but eat and talk and take a bath and I feel so nice.

Maybe I cannot know with certainty if it is pleasure or it is only relief from the pain of my body. But I will not fret about it any more.

Our mother and father are in Zangarmarsh so we are being naked and lazy in our house. And now I am going to cook something and then we are going to go to sleep.

Seol 63 ← Seol 64 → Astrolabe 30

Current Mood: relaxed

My husband has made himself doubly confused.

Seol writes beautifully with the pen of doubt and belief, but twice he has doubled back and scrawled confusion over his words. The freshest ink reads, "I believe that I truly believe in my pleasure," but that is not the prayer his heart needs to raise up and gaze upon in order to heal his soul. For as he writes those words he frets about and doubts about the veracity of his beliefs, the possibility of a self-delusion, he may learn about what his mind considers necessary in order to deem some proposition true or false, but he will not learn to feel pleasure.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: optimistic

Dear Light,

Help me

I want to feel pleasure.

I want to feel pleasure and to desire pleasure like a normal person.

I dont want to have to pretend that when I feel grief and when I feel pity that I am feeling pleasure.

I dont want to have to figure out what pleasure is by feeling for the gaps in pain. I dont want to run away from pain and pretend that it is the same thing as running towards pleasure.

I want to feel pleasure and desire

I dont want to be afraid that my pleasure is not really pleasure and that I will never be able to tell the difference between pleasure and relief.

I want to be able to have a desire for Astrolabe that does not have inside it a fear that my desire is not real. I want to be able to have a desire that is desire, like a normal person

Please

give me faith.

I need to believe in pleasure.

believe in chocolate

Seol 61 ← Seol 62 → Astrolabe 29

Current Mood: not despairing

Seol,

I hate paladins.

Answer for Seol:

I do not know how. Just to move to pleasure and away from not pleasure. It is too hard for you, you move away from not pleasure only. And we are happy to be with Astrolabe and Seol. Not to be correct. But to be happy.

It is our heresy of to kiss.

Seol 24 ← Astrolabe 15 → Astrolabe 16

Hello Seol, husband of I,

You are very smart and you write very much much more well than I. I am proud of you.

I want to ~~[illegible]~~ be happy with you and to write with you a lot more. It feels good.

Seol 23 ← Astrolabe 14 → Seol 24

Current Mood: happy

~~Astrolabe,~~

Astrolabe,

Is this right? Am I the right husband for you? Am I capable of becoming the other half of your heart? Will I be able to make you actually happy -- can I produce "pleasure" in you? Or will I only be able to provide you some fleeting satisfaction when you soothe my pains, paltry pleasures that cost your exhaustion? If I am ill for the rest of my life, will you nurse me, virtuously, until my sadness infects you, too?

Are you really willing to waste your life on someone who is so slow-witted and slow-smiling? Do you really like me, trust me that much?

I really like you and I trust you, and I'm really afraid

I need to work harder.

Seol 22 ← Seol 23 → Astrolabe 14

Current Mood: worried

Although Seol's sleep was not disturbed during the night, when he awoke in the Aldor dormitory to put on his armor and join the other elite soldiers of the Shattered Sun, he found his belongings had been rifled through. The packet of mana powder he always carried with him was gone, and in its place was a bar of dark chocolate.

There was also a crudely scrawled note that read,

You do not need that
You need this.

Seol 6 ← Astrolabe 5 → Seol 7

Current Mood: hopeful

The mixing bowls at the Aldor Rise inn were very big and very shiny. Astrolabe marveled at her distorted expression; tilting it this way, her forehead shrank and her mouth widened terrifyingly. She looked quite a bit like Helaah. Laughing, she lifted up the bowl and turned it around, showing Helaah the kitchen; was it the way she remembered?

Astro was sure, at least, that when her mother had been an Aldor priestess there had never been anyone here so pale and pink-skinned as that man; she captured his reflection in the bowl to show Helaah, the blurry figure of a dark-haired elf holding out a hand to her, asking smilingly, "That?"

( Read more... )

The Broken bunch!
The Broken bunch!
That's the way we became the Broken bunch!

( Read more... )

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30

Seol Plumfall

turtle loves sporebat

→Seol 64: Day off

→Astrolabe 29: Learning about it, learning to do it

→Seol 62: Pray

→Astrolabe 15: Technique

→Astrolabe 14: Love

→Seol 23: and Pain

→Astrolabe 5: Cure

→SS1, Astro/Seol: Chocolate

((Link- and Brain-dump the First))

September 2011

Thingies

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