seol_plumfall | Entries tagged with angst

Astrolabe,

I think I'm broken.

The Masters increased my salary again. I think they feel afraid because more Masters have left the Knights recently. So I have some money for our furniture.

But please do not buy too much. I want to buy a bigger apartment for Jia. More space would make her and Galenos happier. Also, I think I may hire a tutor to live with her and teach her. She does not want to go to school with other blood elf children. But she met a man in Undercity named Pietro Caro, and she says he is very kind and learned and is unhappy in Undercity. We talked, and we think he can teach her languages, history, and other things.

I am very happy that Jia now is not so angry at me.
But I'm broken

( Read more... )

Current Mood: depressed

Seol does not desire me.

Astrolabe 18 ← Astrolabe 19 → Seol 29

Current Mood: crushed

~~Astrolabe,~~

Astrolabe,

Is this right? Am I the right husband for you? Am I capable of becoming the other half of your heart? Will I be able to make you actually happy -- can I produce "pleasure" in you? Or will I only be able to provide you some fleeting satisfaction when you soothe my pains, paltry pleasures that cost your exhaustion? If I am ill for the rest of my life, will you nurse me, virtuously, until my sadness infects you, too?

Are you really willing to waste your life on someone who is so slow-witted and slow-smiling? Do you really like me, trust me that much?

I really like you and I trust you, and I'm really afraid

I need to work harder.

Seol 22 ← Seol 23 → Astrolabe 14

Current Mood: worried

Astrolabe,

Please do not feel sad. I do not belong either.

However, if she loves this incompetent man, I do not wish to change

Seol 20 ← Seol 21 → Astrolabe 13

Current Mood: discouraged

Guest post by Lynod

Dear Helaah,

Can you recall the happiest day of your life? Was it when we first met in the spring so long ago, separated by so many flasks and reagents that served as a catalyst for our love? Was it when you took my hand into your own and we walked those fateful steps before proclaiming ourselves as man and wife before the Light and all of Draenor?

Or was it when you first saw a baby girl staring at you from the safe refuge of your arms, far too fearless to even cry as she had emerged into a world unlike any she had experienced? I remember Astro's serene gurgle as her chubby hands stretched out to your face, seeming to reassure you as if she said, "Do not be afraid -- I love you."

( Read more... )

Current Mood: indescribable

I made a promise to Jelleneth. No more than three crystals a day.

Seol 16 ← Seol 17 → Astrolabe 11

Current Mood: high

Piled on a desk in an Aldor library: old notebooks full of scribbles, finely rendered landscapes, chaotic frenzies of stick figures; many copies of the same schoolhouse workbooks, painfully simple ones, with angry black marks or looping scribbles filling the answer blanks. A sketchbook, a real luxury item with bright white paper, a purple and gold Aldor symbol on the front, and not one drawing inside; a sewing kit, a set of blade-pens, a box of pigments; tiny bags of dried herbs that still smelled nice. And an envelope, stuffed fat with half-finished paper cuttings, figures carefully glued together, loose circles and triangles and squares.

At the front, on top of a small journal open to a page of neat Thalassian, a collection of notes scrawled in messy Common on bits of scrap paper, some slightly oil-stained as if they had been procured from a fishmonger. Collections of words: "feel" ... "things" ... "to be" ... "to grow" ... grouped by circles or linked by arrows, sometimes accompanied by small illustrative diagrams.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: miserable

The Hierological Theories of Astrolabe of Tuurem.

[The rest of the page is blank.]

Astrolabe 9 ← Seol 12 → Seol 13

Current Mood: numb

Astrolabe,

Plum flowers are falling on Bloodmyst Isle. If you are able, please climb a tall hill so that you can see them.

I do not mind if you think that they are ugly. Or if you think the tree is poisoned, please cut it down. But I want you to see them so that I do not become crazy.

I love all your ideas.

Astrolabe 7 ← Seol 11 → Astrolabe 8

Current Mood: despairing

Hello Seol. You know? I write a very hard Common for you.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: lonely

Hello Astrolabe.

Today I understand why the Aldor hate blood elves a little better.

I fly over Draenor and see its wounds. The villages of Mag'har and Broken are tiny and surrounded by spiked fences. The ground is open and bleeding. I cannot feel the pain of the land because I am not a druid, and I cannot hear the water and earth spirits cry. But the memories of missing people are there on the ground. Thousands of Astrolabes disappeared. My small heart cannot feel so much grief.

And in Netherstorm, the Sunfury elves chew holes in the earth. Above the Hellfire Peninsula Felblood elves make themselves sick and sicker eating fel energy. On Quel'Danas the Dawnblade elves are calling demons and cutting the soldiers of the naaru. It is a war. Fire and arrows cover up the sky. The person at your left is bleeding. You talked to the woman at your right one minute ago, and now she is dead.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: determined

Seol Plumfall

turtle loves sporebat

→Seol 29: Broken

→Astrolabe 19: Preliminary results

→Seol 23: and Pain

→Seol 21: But There Is Somewhere

→Abelar 3: I write to inform you that...

→Seol 17: Delusions

→Seol/Astro 16: Remnants

→Seol 12: Cannot Do It

→Seol 11: Falling For You

→Astrolabe 7: My Own Hooves

→Seol 3: My Body as a Shield

September 2011

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