→Seol 54: Procrastination

[seol_plumfall]

Lately I have been thinking about souls. I have also been thinking that I shouldn't be thinking about souls because I still have not finished thinking about the Light for the first draft of my essay. There is only one section left for me to write. Maybe that is why I do not want to write it. I am afraid -- actually, not afraid, more embarrassed, as I feel myself blushing even just writing this -- I am embarrassed to firmly state, "this is indeed what I believe the Light is," I guess because the firmness of my belief does not actually exist and really I am very ignorant and extremely confused.

But I ought to finish it so that I can begin to translate it. I am very worried about Astrolabe, I have never seen her have a sad mood that lasted this long. If we become busy writing and translating, maybe she will become enthusiastic and laugh with excitement again. I cannot give my body for her consumption to please her, but I can give my words for her critique and please her?

Then I will show it to Helaah. Abelar told me that he and Helaah used to write each other letters about the Light and ethics before their marriage. I would really like her to criticize and help me.

But I'm a little bit extremely terrified.

I guess I better get to work.

Seol 53 ← Seol 54 → Seol 55