seol_plumfall: (Default)

Tiddia wrote me from Icecrown. And I was very confused because I thought she would watch the Silvermoon house until someone came back. So I went there very quickly and met the man that Tiddia hired to watch the house and feed the cats, whose name is Thadric.

He is very strange. And undead. And he was not wearing any clothes almost, but the door was locked and he did not expect anyone, and all people like to do their various strange things in their privacy, so I do not think that was itself a very bad thing, but

I did not want to see that.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)

Today I confessed to Tiddia and it was fine. After was the same as before. She treated me very kindly today and complimented me on many strange things. She at least thinks I look more like a man than a boy now, and I was flattered. And when I told her the story she was not angered or frightened, I think at least, and when I asked if she thought I was weak for still having a panic reaction to that, she still said I was perfect the way that I am.

Maybe she was just saying especially nice things to make me calm down, but I was so happy to hear those kind words. And she says she wants to join the Ebon Blade so that she can stand in Icecrown with the army that protects life in order to protect me and to protect the ones I love. I was so happy to hear that.

Will you forgive her, Astrolabe? It is not fair of me to ask such a thing of Astrolabe when she is still so unhappy. I feel bad, I should have discouraged her from touring Draenor, I should have known that what she would see would upset her.


I am so happy that Tiddia wants to protect my Astrolabe. Because my Astrolabe is, to me, perfect the way she is.

Astrolabe 27 ← Seol 53 → Seol 54
seol_plumfall: (seol)

I know you try to make a joke with the mask and the "now you will love me because I am a blood elf" but it's not Various things happened today.

I was afraid to confess to Tiddia so I did not go home to the apartment in Silvermoon quickly. I went to M'uru's room instead because I wanted to feel that love so I would be a little braver. But I found Shuuken there. It was strange. She said she heard music that called her there. I wonder if Shuuken "hears" the spirits and the breath of the earth the way that I "feel" the Light.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)

Today Tiddia and I went to Quel'Danas to fight the Sunfuries as we planned.

Before we left I showed her M'uru's room. Shuuken found us by accident in Silvermoon and so I showed her, too. And Jelleneth came to the room while looking for Master Arimadios. I tried to explain my feelings but I do not think Tiddia and Jelleneth liked them very much. Maybe it is because my ideas are very full of pain or because it is a sort of feeling of a selfish child. But Tiddia said that she understood and did not hate me for it. Even if she thinks I am twisted if she understands that is enough.

Shuuken understood well, I think. I often think that Shuuken understands me well. I think that this means I am much like a mad shaman and am not sure if I should be happy or worried about this.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)
Maybe I overdid it. In any case, after the last letter, I think things will get better. I will not give up.

But I am still feeling a bit cranky so I came down here to rest a little bit before I go back to the apartment. Because although I want to make her understand I do not want to hurt her by coming home with a tearful face or to say something selfish and upsetting because I wasn't thinking calmly. And I cannot go home to Astrolabe for this purpose because if I tell her about this incident I think she will just get angrier with Tiddia and probably get angry at me too.

And while I was lying down here and thinking about the letters I think I figured something out that I need to write down before I forget.

The reason that I cried so much when I met A'dal and the other naaru in Shattrath for the first time.

It was not because being near to the naaru makes me feel the pangs of the Light in my chest, the sorrow and suffering of the Light - that is the reason I still cry and the reason I feel so much pain near them.

But the reason that I cried so much the first time, which I did not understand very well at the moment, was, I think...

that the naaru saw my pain and looked at me and said, "we feel it, too."

and then Astrolabe came to me and felt it, too...

Seol 47 ← Seol 48 → Seol 49
seol_plumfall: (seol)
Well, nevermind.

It turns out Tiddia never believed in my love at all.

Seol 46 ← Seol 47 → Seol 48
seol_plumfall: (seol)

Now I will write down the things that happened in Silvermoon because I have calmed down. But by the Light you have strange ideas of what is humorous

My sister went on a trip. I am not as worried as Pietro is. When Jia began to go on outings with Galenos I was very worried, but actually he is very intelligent and good with a bow and Jia is as safe traveling with him as she is traveling with any Farstrider. And Jia is not just a good mage, but she is very sensible and does not do silly things. She will stay by the roads and travel in a group and go from Horde post to Horde post. In that way she really is a lot smarter than her brother who goes to try to make friends with the Alliance every few months.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)

By the Light

I am glad that Tiddia does not actually hate me and says she will try to be kinder to me and maybe she does indeed accept my love. And she listened to me explain the problem with the peace of the Scourge and she hopefully heard me and it is all good but

By the Light.

By the Light.

B y   t h e   L i g h t .

If I really had to I would do it

But I think that Astrolabe must have misunderstood Tiddia's Common. Right?

Pietro 7 ← Seol 45 → Astrolabe 25
seol_plumfall: (pietro)
It seems the young master was incorrect about Miss Dix's intentions! This is wonderful.

I think the black and gray suits her the best, whereas the cream was absolutely horrifying and must go immediately. I would have liked to use more white, but the leakage from her neck is a concern. (Actually, that is a concern in general. I ought to ask her why she hasn't had that fully repaired yet.)

However, a situation did arise after Miss Dix settled down and busied herself with writing. I went out to check on the cats and found Cosimo, whom we thought to be asleep, packing some items (which did not quite belong to him) into a knapsack. Either he is not quite as obtuse as I first thought him and figured out Miss Jia's destination or he was planning to pick a random direction in the hopes it would be the right one. He was nearly hysterical, and I was unable to talk him out of his plan. And although I do think if we travel together, we might be safe, I cannot just take off with my business in limbo and Miss Dix to entertain and suits to return. And I was concerned he would simply teleport or burn down the house if we locked him into the master bedroom.

So I drugged him.

I sent a message to the young master by Extra Express. If the boy can't see reason, then perhaps Master Seol can escort him. Or I could -- never been to Shattrath, after all! What fun! And I suppose in theory Miss Dix could, though I suspect from her temperament and relationship with the child that she might abandon or eat him along the way.

Perhaps she'll be tasked with housesitting.

Oh L. have mercy on the young master's soul.

Cosimo 3 ← Pietro 7 → Seol 45
seol_plumfall: (pietro)
Oh dear.

Miss Jia and Galenos ran off today while I was out with Cosimo. From the tone of their letter I am afraid they are going to Outland, an entirely inappropriate place for a small child to be, no matter how clever she thinks she is. Cosimo is distraught and I dare not mention that I suspect that Outland was her destination because he will surely go charging after her... and I am quite sure that, despite his advantage in years, he is much less competent than Jia.

And then the young master came home in tears saying that he has angered Miss Dix and that she will not be coming home to us. By L.! What am I supposed to do with this suit now??

-- I should not be worrying about such trivial things as suits when the two boys are crying themselves sick over the loss of their friends.

And Miss Dix is not coming home to us? Will she be safe wandering the Horde alone? Such an innocent soul -- so many scheming, handsome, clever rogues would take advantage of her.

I think I will miss her a great deal.

Astrolabe 24 ← Pietro 6 → Cosimo 3
seol_plumfall: (astro)

I can't stand this sound.

I can't stand the sound of the trampling and crushing and stomping that is supposed to be the healing. I can't stand the sound of the wish that took so much courage to wish for being chewed upon. I can't stand the sound of that tiny desire and hope being crumpled. He is crying and I   c a n ' t   s t a n d   t h e   s o u n d.

Stealing love from an innocent and weak, beautiful heart that struggles against all that weight to love at all, it's not fair. Laughing away unconditional love, painful love, it's not fair. It's evil. It's unforgivable.

I can't allow her to keep torturing him.

Seol 44 ← Astrolabe 24 → Pietro 6
seol_plumfall: (seol)
I did not die. I was saved by the very kind Lady Elayia, for whom I must write harder, and the not-a-paladin Kriegus, and by Ruepert who took considerable risks for my sake, and by Tiddia.

Tiddia came to look for me. She did not go to the necromancers. She came back to the Cathedral to look for me because I was late. I am so happy that she did not go to the necromancers. I am so happy for her soul.

But I think that it is like I thought, and that Tiddia does not want anything to do with me anymore.

No matter how hard I try, what I do, as sincere as I try to be

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seol_plumfall: (seol)

I made a mistake. I was very tired while studying and I fell asleep. And now I woke up and the draenei potion has stopped working, and I am here in the basement of the Cathedral of Stormwind with my long ears and green eyes and no armor at all.

I am afraid I am going to die.

And I must make a confession to you if I am going to die.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)

I feel as if I am always holding onto Tiddia just barely and then losing her again.

At the Pig, which Tiddia used to like, we met a strange and friendly draenei paladin-not-a-paladin, which pleased you a lot. You made something like hot chocolate for us and it was very tasty. But then there were scary drunk people and we left to go to the Slaughtered Lamb, which has a very morbid name.

That was the place that things began to get bad again. After you went home.

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seol_plumfall: (seol)

I am starting to feel excited, even though I told myself not to feel this way because it is dangerous. If something goes wrong, Tiddia can maybe say that she is not of the Forsaken and is really a returning Ebon Blade of the Alliance. But I am a blood elf and a Blood Knight and if I get caught again, it may be bad.

And yet I am excited. For at least a few hours I can walk into the Cathedral at ease. I can breathe in the old theology books and sigh as loudly as I want. And I will get to learn about things with you. I hope.

Tiddia is also acting happy and so I am happy.

I guess it was this friend whom she needed all along. No matter what I did for her, I was not able to give her the love and hope she needed to be happy again. I suppose I feel a little jealous and a little sorry for myself. But I also feel so much happiness for her, lighter and better at the same time that I feel so heavy.

Perhaps she will no longer need me after this, and I will slowly disappear from her happy story.

Jiajia 2 ← Seol 39 → Seol 40
seol_plumfall: (Default)

I think that the important things all ended safely. "Coria" is safe, and her friend is being very good to both of us. I do not know yet if there will be a guest in our house again soon, or if there will be one in Jj's house, or none anywhere. But things will be all right, I think.

But we are going to try to get Coria her money from when she was alive. We must go to the city, and it may be a little dangerous. But we are going to try to use a transformation potion to enter quietly. Although I do not speak your language very well, I asked for a potion of your type. I think maybe I will learn more about you that way.

Would you like to come with us? The potion does not last a very, very long time, and "vigorous activity" might break the spell, but maybe it is a chance for you.

Your husband.

Seol 37 ← Seol 38 → Jiajia 2

September 2011

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